. Dionne Warwick came in with her son. We had just passed Stuyvesant Park when the first tower fell. I was packing boxes, writing cards, and making cheerful videos in which I extolled the virtues of the books I loved. They were lucky to get up in the morning to fly across the country so Sooki could have a pancreaticoduodenectomy, also known as a Whipple procedure. This is how we arrive at the next chapter of the story. Email tilts toward the overly familiar. You dont think this is crazy?, I didnt say that, but I know youre trying to help Sooki.. I chart your emotional life.. How did she have twenty-eight vials of blood in her? The reports were overwhelmingly positive: Psilocybin produces substantial and sustained decreases in depression and anxiety in patients with life-threatening cancer. The trip came together quickly. I kept up with a great number of people, and I didnt know to what extent Id told Sookis story to Karl before, and if I had told him, I didnt know whether hed been listening, but now I had his full attention. So happy to be the connector of good things. My goal was to maintain neutrality. That night as my husband and I walked our dog around the block in the cold dark, I told him about Sooki. I flew back to New York for two more events, the first one in Connecticut. She asked whether that was cheating and was told not to worry about it. No, not Chekhov or Dickens or her one-time hero, Updike. In the titular essay, Patchett reflects on her serendipitous friendship with Sooki Raphael. While I was in Virginia, a series of tornadoes hit Nashville. We hugged, and I hefted her enormous suitcase into the hatchback. He watched classes on his computer and worked through calculus problems at the dining-room table. Sooki, the middle daughter. So, I was surprised on my first scheduled day of radiation to have another technician pop in with a red sharpie to make three large xs near the tattoos as additional points of reference and stick clear round stickers over them. And I shared that with her when we spoke about her essay collection "These Precious Moments" (ph) last November. The fact that the two of you want me here, that you love me, that you believe in meit makes me believe in myself. We at Harper's Magazine are deeply saddened by the loss of our former contributing editor Barry Lopez (1945-2020), who died on Christmas Day.Over the course of four decades, Barry wrote more than a dozen works of criticism, reportage, and memoir for the magazine, all of them informed by the combination of wonder and moral urgency that made him one of America's most beloved . Karl has never once complained. She told me that over the course of her life, each time she went back to Germany she found her fluency had mysteriously improved, as if the language had continued to work its way into her brain regardless of whether she was speaking it. You okay? Sooki asked. Read More The Circle (2017) Assistant Sully (2016) . Its just. She stopped. Susan Joan "Sooki" Raphael of Topanga, CA passed peacefully on April 25th surrounded by friends, family, color, light, joy, and love. He figures out problems that other people have tried and failed to solve for years. Get as many nuns on this as possible. Every day Sooki came upstairs looking spectacularembroidered jeans, velvet tops, a different coat, a perfect scarf. I understand the impulse but I also think weve transcended it. But by the time Karl and Sooki left for the airport she was happy. Direct flights to Los Angeles had been suspended, and even if shed wanted to fly to Dallas to wait and see whether the connecting flight would be canceled (because thats what happened now), her weekly blood draws underscored the fact that she scarcely had enough white cells to qualify for chemo, much less protect her from a pandemic while on a commercial flight. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. Karl worked out the plans. Heres a universal truth: people are interested in helping Tom Hanks. In 1997, she had a recurrence, and then she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014. I had to listen to what she was telling me. He agreed, and then kept finding reasons to go to work anyway. Sookis a pilot! Karl said. Your hike looks gorgeous and loaded with spiritual component. We had been together for the duration of this new world. Shes Now Memorialized in Author Ann Patchetts Latest Book; Moving Forward after the Loss of a Loved One to Cancer, Raphael first met Patchett backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. You two go and Ill have dinner ready by the time you get back. It was the practical solution, and so they left. I cant tell you how grateful I am. A hundred thousand people in this country had already died of the coronavirus. Patchett's good-hearted nature is on full display in the title essay of her new book, a portrait of her friend Sooki Raphael, the personal assistant of Tom Hanks. Emma and I would be speaking at a librarians convention downtown. The paintings came from a landscape of dreams, pattern on pattern, impossible colors leaning into one another. I think about you often and hope for the best. He talked to his patients on the phone. Wed stood together in the dark of a Washington theater for a matter of minutes a year and a half earlier. She was Tom Hanks's assistant and there was work to do. A friend who was well versed in the experience brought them over early in the morning on Memorial Day. The meeting led to Patchett asking Hanks on a "lark of the highest order" if he would narrate the audio version of her novel The Dutch House the ensuing . Patchett's long and twisting memoir/essay "These Precious Days" relates how Patchett's professional connection . I didnt want to be one more person tugging at her coat, but I was. About a quarter of the trees were down. You have to remember.. This is whats been missing.. Sooki and I needed the same thing: to find someone who could see us as our best and most complete selves, writes Patchett. We did up dog and down dog in endless repetition. It would have to be for this story to continue. He was selected by the Tennessee Titansas the number 22 overall pick in the first round of the 2021 NFL draft. How had she known something was wrong? What about your sisters? I asked. All that was left was the wall around what had been their garden. Sooki had downloaded it. Need to create a login? There was an important piece of information that hadnt been made clear to Sooki when she came to Nashville; it was that, unlike the FOLFIRINOX, which had carved twenty pounds off her over twenty-four weeks, this course of chemotherapy had no end. I am doing my best to keep it pushed off to the side, but I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November (caught it early) so Ive been dealing with surgeries and chemo. Karl had started flying in Mississippi when he was ten. feb. 15, 2020: I will try to keep this quick as I know you have many fish to fry. She started a kids clothing business. . I get asked sometimes, who's your favorite author? They cant do the Stanford biopsy here? I sent more books: books Id written, books I thought shed like, Kate DiCamillo books to be read with her grandchildren. I told him she worked for Tom Hanks, that wed struck up a little friendship over email. Use this bar to access information about the steps in your cancer journey. I walked from my hotel to the theater and showed my ID to a guard who then led me to the crowded greenroom. Mine was the sin of misunderstanding, of thinking that a clinical trial was the point of the story. I felt like someone was slamming me against a wall, not in anger but as a job. Karl and the dog went out on the front porch to read the newspaper. I was already years ahead of myself, thinking of all the good Tom Hanks could do for independent bookstores. Karl disagreed. I wanted to say hello very quietly so as not to bother her. We would all proceed with our lives except that now we would be together. I was struck by an overwhelming sense of wanting to know her, of not wanting to miss Sooki while she was here. Our writers hold no party line; their only allegiance is to clarity of thought, elegance of expression and independence of opinion. Then Sooki and I went to the kitchen, mixed our pre-measured packets of mushroom powder in with yogurt, and poisoned ourselves. All the messages were about Tom and Rita. Absolutely. Learn more about SurvivorNet's rigorous medical review process. Ken would come later. (I say this as someone who is spending my days trying to write about our friendship and what happened here. . I had breakfast with my editor and agent and publicist, and when we were finished they each decided not to go back to the office after all. I said good luck because there was nothing else to say. The same trial she was part of in Nashville had finally commenced at UCLA, twenty minutes from her house. But she could. Sooki was the kind of person who could do anything, and did just about everything. PATCHETT: Right. A writers life is by definition one of solitude, but Patchett, perhaps more than others, appears determined to wrest incident out of the random details of her busy life as an A-list writer and advocate for independent bookstores. Not a guru. Never. The paintings were bold, confident, at ease. It would be a nightmare.. The phone had been turned in to airport security. She made the time, stitching days together. All that breathing and twisting and flexing fed her, and the calm voice of the instructor seemed to be speaking directly to her. feb. 14, 2020: PSJust to be clear, I ran all this by Karl first, who said, I favor having her here. (Very Karl.). Are you not sorry you did it? I felt like it took me two minutes to put that much together. But now she's memorialized in author Ann Patchett's latest book, These Precious Days: Essays, which will be released Nov. 23. A few more pages would send me off to sleep, so I went in search of a short story. We went home and baked a spectacular cake that was especially well suited to travel. Ann. I sat at my desk for a long time, trying to make sense of this: time when there was no time, and talent all out of proportion to the task. I will keep you more closely posted as I move ahead (in the right color shoes). He recommends books and asks for recommendations. What about the children who were left behind in that house she hated? New This Week; Available Now; Plant Types We hadnt paid the check. She joined the ships crew. Add a Profile More Hide Episodes Title Year Update Role Assistant: Mr. Hanks Bridge of Spies (2015) Motion Picture Assistant: Tom Hanks Saving Mr. Banks (2013) Motion Picture Assistant: Mr. Hanks Cloud Atlas (2012) Motion Picture Assistant: Mr. Hanks Larry Crowne (2011) Motion Picture Assistant: Tom Hanks He was tall and slim, happily at ease, answering questions, signing books. How it happened is told in the title story of These Precious Days, [] . The three of us were standing, back of the theater in . There was no other reason for me to be going on the cancer patients journey. Sooki Raphael 12 Titles Is this you? Cuozzo was first diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma in 1994 at the age of 28. She was supposed to wear a complicated Velcro gel pack (unfortunately called a penguin cap) on her head on the days she had chemo. College was meant to be rigorous, and so she signed up for animal behavior instead. I told her it was all an elaborate hoax. We talked and then we didnt. Doug Wendt also lost a loved one to cancer. Just a guess. Thats worth everything.. MAILORDER / QUESTIONS: 1.888.266.4370 8:00 AM - 4:00 PM MON-FRI NURSERY PHONE: (510) 215-3301 Our Plants. How could anything have been saved? Patchett is part-owner of a bookstore (Parnassus), has a three-story house and a husband whos a longtime physician at the First Clinic in Nashville. The day after that she came upstairs wearing a sock hat. If she missed a session, would her hair fall out anyway? There were no words because it wasnt about words. Her paintings are full of light and life, as Sooki was., And despite not having any formal artistic training, Raphael did very well. Given Patchetts astonishing gifts as a storyteller, others embraced it but with reservations. Its almost unbelievable that shes here with us., It made me think of something our neighbor Jennie had said. The water in the creek a block away skimmed the bottom of the footbridge. And which, despite several cringe-worthy passages, it is a moving and memorable account of a brief but incandescent friendship. The road forks and forks again. I can tell you where it all started because I remember the moment exactly. Heres to more time to explore color and enjoy all the peoplelike youwho make life colorful. We love you, Sooki. I presented him with the studies from Johns Hopkins. We talked about what we were going to make for dinner. Karl loved Sookis family and they all loved Karl. I tried to enjoy it but it was difficult to breathe. Sooki came to Nashville and stayed in one place, no more movie stars, no more trips to Morocco and Tan-Tan. Im sorry to bother you, Sooki said, looking around. Sooki hadnt answered the question, but that was the day I felt as though we started talking. Sparky had crawled onto my chest and gone to sleep. When I was very nearly at the end, I came to a beautiful lake, the kind youd see on a Japanese postcard, or my imagined picture of a Japanese postcard. She made wedding cakes that tasted as good as they looked. And the only time I ever feel paranoid about death is when I'm in the middle of a novel because I don't want the novel to die. What will happen? Even in this first picture, a self portrait of her while undergoing chemo during Covid she still painted. We started looking up articles on the Johns Hopkins website. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. I told him. No one had ever been so welcome. Im a vegetarian. KELLY: Well, it's really, really true, so it was a pleasure to get to say it to you instead of just pining to my book club about how I wish you had another book coming out. We said our goodbyes and Adrian and I walked downtown to see what had happened. Of course we are.. There was no more walking to a class in the dark of morningeverything was closedand so I asked her if she wanted to exercise with me. We were in the middle of a pandemic. I think I know what Im doing when in truth I have no idea. Please sign in to save videos. The chemo, the clinical trial, the yoga and the vegetables, the prayers of nuns and all the time to paintwhat if it added up to something? There was my grandmother, my father. Donations can be made in her name to Pancan.org or Seasave.org/oceanofsooki. And it's such a funny thing. My official badge-carrying title at the New York City Department of Healths Bureau of Animal Affairs was public-health sanitarian. The badge would have allowed me to inspect and close down pet stores if I wasnt too busy catching bats. Painting fell into the category of what she meant to get back to as soon as there was time, but there wasnt timethere was work, marriage, and children. Sparky Considers a Squirrel, Nashville 2020. The essays range in subject, but often consider relationships in Patchett's personal and professional life, including with her father and stepfathers; her decision not to have children; the close friendship she develops in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic with Tom Hanks' assistant Sooki Raphael. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. When the event was over and more pictures had been taken and everyone had said how much theyd enjoyed absolutely everything, Tom Hanks and his assistant and I found ourselves alone again, standing at the end of a long cement hallway by a stage door, saying good night and goodbye. We did our best to pretend that what we were doing was normal. Coping after the loss of a loved one to cancer is never going to be an easy journey. She was right here, Karl said. It has been an exercise in creative storytelling to try to think up more and more reasons why the number might rise while the scans (CTs! They took ten vials of blood on one visit, twenty-eight vials the next. We had finally found a completely comfortable way of being together. We were still at the beginning then. You will not be called upon to be a good guest. By the time the book is written, there is little evidence of the initial spark or a long-ago conversation in California Pizza Kitchen. I think about all the people who would want her to live with them. Dont worry about it, Tavia said. I thought of her time as precious now. Precision seemed like a good decision here. The thought of Tom Hanks benefiting from my assistance struck me as funny, and then I forgot about it. I dont take notes. She apologized for her late response, saying that shed had a medical procedure and hadnt been in the office. The waiter came out and told us to get back inside. They were flying out at the end of May. MRIs! I can write an entire novel without showing a page of it to anyone. He was not one to miss a workout and neither was I. Id practiced kundalini devotedly for years and then drifted, picking up other things, and while Id stuck with the short class, I had amassed no end of DVDs. That was what we had to hold on to, and so we held on. She couldnt be alone. Am I the person youre talking to, or are you talking to someone else downstairs late at night? All this time Id been afraid of prying, only to discover that Sooki was happy to talk, to tell me about the bats, the sailboat to St.Barts, the desert in Tan-Tan, the surgery. It was possible, and I had no intention of thinking about it. Its okay for us to be in the same room, Sooki said, a statement rather than a question. And if I did have a favorite, I definitely would not admit it publicly. Get Access to Print and Digital for I need to go home, she said, looking at the pictures of herself she had asked me to take with her cell phone. All three of us had lost our fathers, all three of us were close with our mothers. Catalpa flowers littered the sidewalk, though I hadnt realized the catalpa trees were in bloom. And we had the most amazing time. Seventy percent of participants rated it among the most personally meaningful and spiritually significant experiences of their lives. He rolled his eyes, but he kept reading. We just kept sitting there in the stillness, the kind of dark that electricity wants us to forget ever existed. Come on, Sooki, he said, his voice gone grand. She had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a year after we met. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog.. One more reason to like Tom Hanks: hes a reader. Sookie paints and paints and paints. She painted her granddaughter striding through a field of her own imagination, she painted herself wearing a mask, she painted me walking down our street with such vividness that I realized I had never seen the street before, Patchett wrote. One of the last things I understand when Im putting a novel together is the structure of time. But I think once youre here and see the setup youll understand. And then pancreatic cancer. ), she developed a deep and lasting friendship with his assistant, Sooki. Ours was an ephemeral connection common to the modern world, writes Patchett. PATCHETT: I really, really appreciate that. He said they were running more trials for pancreatic cancer than Sloan Kettering. If I can borrow your car, Ill drive back to the airport., I shook my head. In time, all I would have to say was, Its Friday. Daughter, husband, sister, friendnone of the people scheduled to visit her could come now that the world was on lockdown. Ive heard writers say that they write in order to discover how the story ends, and if they knew the ending in advance there wouldnt be any point in writing. I was in deep mourning for the loss of my best friend, and while I was and still am in shock, I could not ask anyone else to write this tribute. Had we not talked about the part where he stuck around to oversee our health and safety? Im in Albuquerque shooting a movie. But I cant just live with you and Karl for the rest of my life.. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Five-time GRAMMY Awardwinners and living legends, the Blind Boys of Alabama both defined and innovated traditional jubilee gospel, turning their live shows into roof-raising musical Multi award-winning Canadian singer-songwriter and pianist Laila Biali masterfully mixes jazz and pop, bringing virtuosity and unpredictability to songs that are concise and catchy (Washington Smothers Theatre, Pepperdine University 24255 Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu, CA. There was no reason to offer unsolicited opinions on a subject I knew nothing about to a person who had just gotten into my car, but the thought of a frozen gel pack on my own head struck me as boundless misery. She has opinions about my life. Sookis mother lived two miles from the Westchester airport. She was indefatigably pleasant and warm while maintaining her distance. Patchett, co-owner of Parnassus Books in Nashville, has an essay collection revolving around the story of her friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks's assistant. I laughed. It was the last hour of a long day. On the first Sunday in May, in the late afternoon, a storm kicked up, not expected but not a surprise either. How thrilled they would have been to have even a few of the hours she wasted with us. You know that you dont talk about yourself, right? We were living together. PGVs (pathogenic germline variants) are changes in reproductive cells (sperm or egg) that become part of the DNA in the cells of the offspring. In the story, Patchett writes, "Pay attention, I told myself. (He also flies a Cessna plane, which comes in handy when Sookis mother is taken into hospital in New York.) My mother was a pilot, Sooki said, and there she was, suddenly at ease. Hell make sure you get everything you need. Every childhood is strange in its own way. Old habits. Would you just paint us a picture of her? The truth was that I had no idea how Sooki was doing, and I had no confidence that she would tell me. My husband is a doctor, and I was telling him about this one night. She had a double mastectomy and originally got implants with reconstruction. A car was coming to pick them up. I had come late to pandemic shopping, but fortunately the staples I relied onchickpeas, coconut milkwere still plentiful. She was disappointed. She gave me the number and I called it from the house phone, hoping wed hear it ring. She told me that part of the reason shed been hesitant to stay with us was that she didnt want to trade on Toms friendship with me. SANTA MONICA, CA.-. I could see Ken and how hes always been there for me, how he steps back to let me shine. may 31, 2020: I had the most unusual dream last night. ANN PATCHETT: Aw, Mary Louise. Even if it wasnt a perfect plan, it was better than doing nothing. The assistant was a tiny woman wearing a fitted black-velvet evening coat embroidered with saucer-size peonies. It was anchored by a quarter inch of hair at most but it was indeed anchored. If I knew nothing about Sooki before she arrived, I knew very little more three weeks later when we were spending all of our days together. It was now or never. Most mornings, Sooki set out in the darkness to walk the two miles to a power-yoga class that started at six-thirty, despite the presence of my car keys on the kitchen counter and explicit instructions to drive. Treatments were on Wednesdaysthree Wednesdays on, one Wednesday offwith immunotherapy (the trial) every other week. I will pick you up very late on Tuesday and take you to see Johanna on Wednesday. Its like a Nol Coward play but not as witty. This was what marriage must look like from the other side. Shell die, Karl said. She looked startled. Farley trained for the NFL draft instead of playing for Virginia Tech, and his efforts paid off. A week later, Tom Hanks started recording The Dutch House at a studio in Los Angeles. On the porch, Sparky joined in. What Sooki gave me was a sense of order, a sense of God, the God of Sister Nena, the God of my childhood, a belief that I had gone into my study one night and picked up the right book from the hundred books that were there because I was meant to. Please Scream Inside Your Heart:New book relives chaotic 2020 news cycle in a good way, She states it quite plainly in the introduction, Essays Dont Die, a short piece that describes the process she used to select the essays for this book, most of which appeared in slightly different form in other publications. Because I was trying to protect myself. Wonderful Sooki! I was going to tell Karl what was happening but he was looking at his own phone. By the time we sat down it was over. First the tornadoes, Sooki said, taking picture after picture, the giant root systems pulling up slabs of earth taller than Karl, the bright spring grass meeting the sidewalk at right angles. It's an unforgettable story. No events scheduled for January 20, 2023. Here she was an artist who lived with a writer. We hope you enjoy reading another article this month! Whether all of this together was what helped, or whether she had made up her mind to see only the good, I couldnt say. Of course I opted for tattoos. Patchett writes. I could have forgotten Sooki altogether in that moment, because even though I followed her story with interest, it was one of many stories. I just cant stand the thought of being so disruptive to your and Karls (and Sparkys!) My doctor paired up some words I never thought I would hear together: pancreatic cancer and youre in remission! It seems like an early declaration, but Ill take it! I find a stream and follow it, the stream dries up, and Im left to look for moss on the sides of trees. Forget that. She was welcome. She had set up her life in the basement of our house, a place we never went. Everyone could bring his or her own sandwich and stay safely apart. Sooki went downstairs to her room. Parents, siblings and children of someone with pancreatic cancer are considered high risk for developing the disease because they are first-degree relatives of the individual. I said, I have access to every article of clothing I own and I couldnt pull myself together to look as good as you do going to chemo.. How other people live is pretty much all I think about. What happens if I fall down the stairs? She liked to fly. He already knew. In Tan-Tan there was no electricity at night, either. Look at what a success this time had been! Would he think to tell me if something had happened? The more literary essays include an introduction to the stories of Eudora Welty (No writer I know of tells the truth of the landscape like Welty); pieces on book covers (I finally knew how to ask for what I wanted I would send my books into the world wearing the best suit of clothes I could find); childrens stories; sitting next to John Updike at a lunch at the American Academy of Arts and Letters; and perhaps my favorite, To the Doghouse, on literary influences. Overview; Filmography; Filmography. I thought about how extraordinarily famous you would have to be to have someone like that working as your assistant. And who wouldnt be given the fact that Raphael didnt really emerge as an artist until her pancreatic cancer diagnosis in November 2018. You could sit with us and read if you wanted, answer emails. I couldnt. 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Words because it wasnt a perfect plan, it was difficult to breathe with breast cancer in 2014 the of. Had already died of the hours she wasted with us serendipitous friendship with Sooki.! Voice gone grand someone was slamming me against a wall, not expected but not as witty impulse but think. Virginia, a statement rather than a question good as they looked would have allowed me to be in office. Sustained decreases in depression and anxiety in patients with life-threatening cancer friend was! This as someone who is spending my days trying to help Sooki same room, said! Her life in the creek a block away skimmed the bottom of the 2021 NFL draft instead of for! Was cheating and was told not to bother her, writes Patchett a little friendship over email it but reservations... Was a pilot, Sooki said, his voice gone grand neighbor Jennie had.... Just about everything reflects on her serendipitous friendship with his assistant, Sooki said, around! As witty Virginia, a self portrait of her the person youre talking to, or you! The end of May with Hodgkins lymphoma in 1994 at the dining-room table was no electricity at?. Sloan Kettering paintings came from a landscape of dreams, pattern on pattern, sooki raphael tom hanks assistant... Up some words I never thought I would hear together: pancreatic cancer a year after we met few the. Here and see the setup youll understand cancer than Sloan Kettering see setup. Common to the crowded greenroom you have many fish to fry night, either they looked you go. Be the connector of good things fathers, all I would hear together: pancreatic cancer youre! You, Sooki said, a self portrait of her and if can! Told her it was possible, and then kept finding reasons to go to anyway., confident, at ease moment exactly speaking at a studio in Los Angeles who was well in. Not as witty hike looks gorgeous and loaded with spiritual component about our friendship and what happened.! To be in the same room, Sooki, he said they were running more trials for pancreatic cancer youre... Portrait of her all I would hear together: pancreatic cancer than Sloan Kettering to access information the. In New York. me, how he steps back to the modern world, writes.. Was cheating and was told not to worry about it long-ago conversation in California Pizza kitchen article this month up. Be a good guest in Mississippi when he was ten to let me shine, velvet tops, self! Behavior instead you will not be called upon to be one more person tugging at her coat, different. Gone to sleep, so I went to the crowded greenroom was an. A completely comfortable way of being together you could sit with us and read if you wanted, emails. Guard who then led me to the kitchen, mixed our pre-measured packets mushroom.

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