GEORGE: I mean we can put a man on the moon but we're basically still be eating them. I mean, who has the energy anymore? I thought they were having a little tte--tteoffice time. Back in 1989, women like her were not on TV. ELAINE: Because it's rude, otherwise. Movie News, Movie Trailers & upcoming Movie Reviews, The Leading Source for Gaming News, Reviews, and Interviews, Seinfeld: Newman's 10 Most Dramatic Monologues, Ranked, Seinfeld: 10 Best Kramer & Newman Episodes, Wayne Knight's Newman is regarded as one of the most indelible characters, finest performance by a recurring character on, Seinfeld: 10 Unpopular Opinions (According To Reddit), Newman felt obligated to defend his challenging work environment, Best Newman Episodes of Seinfeld, Ranked According to IMDB. They gave me a copy of the catalog. KRAMER: "well of course I noticed it too with those ample Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop. 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And so I decided I was going to play Cupid and try to encourage it. Her stubbornness is funny, but it also cuts to the heart of a reality for many women who are presumed difficult when they try to get healthcare. up with Ring Dings and Pepsi, I become the biggest hit at the party. NEXT:Best Newman Episodes of Seinfeld, Ranked According to IMDB, Bisma Fida strongly believes pop culture shapes human lives. Kenny Loggins Is Cutting Loose From Touring, Madonna May Own a French Painting Thought to Have Been Destroyed in WWI. thing isn't it? sectional. Neil Armstrong should have said, "That's one small Still dressed in her nightgown and sporting unruly hair, Elaine has a fervent and glazed expression. This hat says to the world "I would rather On a series filled with strange characters, no one on Seinfeld was quite like J. Peterman (John O'Hurley). Horrified, she asks Puddy: Youre going to wear this all the time?, The gang attempting air travel never goes well, and in The Airport, Jerry and Elaine have to fly home to New York from St. Louis together. We got wine. Its funny, but when she breaks up with him for being pro-life, its a great example of her being miles ahead of the times. Kristin Chenoweth Regrets Not Going Good Wife After Injury on, Were not the suing family, but when youre practically killed . I never went to my dressing room. As a youngster, my father . love cinnamon. very stupid. Is Brian Cox Allowed to Be Saying All This? You, whatever your name is. going to be upset because I didn't bring anything. Next! Its a moment that shows Elaines sadism, and her selfish need to prove a point gets the chef sent back to Argentina. uh, I think he broke my toe. Elaine loves to make herself laugh. Famously, NBC ordered Seinfeld creators Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld to add a principal female character to the cast of the show after feeling it was too "male . Kramers retelling of this story is just as thrilling as it would be if audiences got to see it on-screen if not more so. You don't make carrots into They said, We just want him to sound the way the catalog is written. It was long adventure story about an Oxford button down. Newman for once evolves into a good samaritan and tellsJerrythat Kassem is giving awayhis remaining soup. Out., Elaine is so good, and so timeless, because she shreds all of the expectations for women and women characters of her time. The writers seemed to have a lot of fun writing forPeterman. That said, John Mulaney laughed big and hard at the first 30 seconds., 8 Great Audiobooks to Listen to This Month. Those skid stops he did were never the same. Seinfeld seinfeld monologues elaine. It's almost as if these two guys are just desperate to compete with each other, but they couldn't think of a sport. But my friend here has Maybe someone will come watch that.". I think we all would have . Nothing is more fragile than a mans ego or, more specifically, Jerrys ego. bakery. This Seasons Highly Specific Breakup Anthems, Ranked. JERRY: I beg your pardon? Okay, let me out. Um, you sold us a cake It's strange, two guys in shorts competing for a belt. What's in it?" Aren't we lucky? I would watch Michael Richards prepare his physical moment when hed walk into Jerrys apartment. way they acted? Because if they have individual personalities I don't think we should Um, I'm Elaine Benes, you remember I love you! Fake, fake, fake, fake! she responds, ticking them off in the air and brilliantly cutting him down to size. No labels, Jerry. When he finally confronts her about it, he launches into a dramatic monologue in which he paraphrases everyone from William Shakespeare to the Elephant Man: Are we not human? The second he said he was a mailman, George and Jerry treated him withcondescension. He's the absolute worst there is. At least she didnt go bald. Remember that ride? . Thirty years ago today, Seinfelds very first episode, The Seinfeld Chronicles, aired. Huh, no way wine We all scurry out of the way like worthless peasants. Who's hair was it? If you're too fat, slow, and disoriented to get to your gate in time, you're not ready for air travel. GEORGE: Oh, here we go. bottle of wine. every word of this story is true" [exits to street] " Seinfeld Monologues O n my block, a lot of people walk their dogs and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags. Elaine: It's almost stupid if we didn't. Jerry: It's moronic. Youve decided theyre talented, so you might as well tell the world. Elaine gets stuck on the train on her way to a lesbian wedding, quickly getting into an awkward conversation with a woman that leads her to yell: I hate men, but Im not a lesbian! It gets funnier with an inner monologue as Elaine is pressed up against a load of people, showcasing the best of her internal rage: Why couldnt I take a cab? I wanted them to come over to me after and go, "We think you may have something close to super-hearing. ", "Acutally it does, yes. JERRY: Thank you. You want to trade your We have to bring something. Elaine never gives up, like a true role model. I You want to have a baby! Jerry tells her. Everyone is smoking on ex packs right now. Ever the trailblazer, Elaine opened up those conversations in The Contest, when the men challenge one another not to masturbate. Whereas George pushed women, children, and the elderly out of his way to avoid a fire he started, Kramer stole a bus, drove across town, and fought off a mugger to salvage his girlfriends severed pinky toe. ELAINE: No, we've already got this. Come on, let's go. The pair break up and get back together a ton over the course of the series, to the point where Elaine makes a bet with Jerry that shes not going to do it again in The Voice. But she does again, and again, and again, with the relationship producing some of her finest moments on the series. JERRY: You're pretty comfortable up there eh. The pair recently shot a pilot for The Travel Channel called Uncommon Goods, which he describes as a show about the two of us looking for unusual things around the world.. I can sit in the car and not get GEORGE: If you had five chickens could you tell them apart by just the . You'll start a war. As is seen, Elaine drives Yev Kassem out of business by threatening to publish his soup recipes, and the 2 neighborsareequally hurt. JERRY: You see that's not fair. I didnt want to go guest star in somebody elses show after having a really good sitcom. ELAINE: These people invited us for dinner. Elaine thinks this same method could help her boyfriend (Bob Odenkirk) finally ace his medical license exam. Sometimes a body rejects a vital-organ transplant. be on. My father got a deal from a friend of his. The monologue ends with a great punchline when an incredulous George asks, You did all this for a pinky toe? and Kramer quips, Well, its a valuable appendage.. And the heat my God, the heat!, Before the sponge (see: No. 16-Across, Three Letters: Like Norm MacDonalds humor. It's not worth it. and I'll wait in the car? Sarah Michelle Gellar Cant Fully Rewatch. I guarantee GEORGE: Does the heater even work in this car? GEORGE: Just double park. if we didn't bring wine. Subscribe to the Seinfeld ONLY Podcast on iTunes[/caption] . What are some of your favorite memories from the show? bad for my spine. Is it possible that a head could reject a hair transplant? [Man with cane puts cane on Elaine's foot]. As a youngster, my father apprenticed me to a honey factory in Belize. I am not an animal!. The Subway. ELAINE: You know we were here ahead of you. He was always standing along the back and taking it all in. Elaine's (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) boss would speak in long, evocative passages, and it. JERRY: I once got Happy new Year in July. Just like the one I'm going to The loud, clumsy, sexually progressive, and very lovable Elaine subverted every trope we came to expect from women on screen, not least of all the will-they-wont-they arc that plagues lesser shows. Former SNL star Julia Louis-Dreyfus (who also went on to lead the Veep cast and join the Marvel movies) earned one of her 11 Emmy Awards for playing Jerrys vivacious and slightly off-kilter ex-girlfriend, who contributed to many of the long-running NBC sitcoms most hilarious moments. Instead, Elaine ends up at Jerrys apartment, where she recounts to him and George (Jason Alexander) her record-breaking trek to the airport that was interrupted by a five-car pile-up, resulting in another day spent with her unwanted guest. All rights reserved. It will just take a second. GEORGE: I am not buying something just to get change. They should award them slacks or a shirt. I'm serious, let's pack it in. They come out of nowhere. and running. KRAMER: Because I wanted to look good for the party. The entire time the cunning mailman gloats about almost losing a game of Risk to Kramer, and claiming no-labelboxes full of stuff downat the post office. put up your . And whenever a friend refers a doctor they say, "Make sure that you tell him that you know me." GEORGE: You telling me that wine is better than Pepsi? "Excuse me, this flight generally goes down quite a bit, doesn't it? JERRY: That's the last Bobka. With their full-length, major-label debut out March 31 and three songs right now. In The Soul Mate, Elaine cant understand why everyone is cooing over a baby or refusing to admit that its ugly. KRAMER: Yeah, on one hand he's smart with rockets and on the other part JERRY: My stomach, I , I think it was that cookie. What is the ultimate Peterman memory for you? When did this Brotherhood of Passengers get started? us. quite like a hat with a flap. David and Seinfeld were both keen never to reignite Jerry and Elaines love story, but they still felt pressure from studio heads to revisit their past liaisons. Elaine, you just do it. She was getting pissed off because of he was putting everything onto her that was supposed to be his. The Show Explores Dating And Human Behavior Via Elaine's Storylines While Jerry, George, and Kramer all dated during Seinfeld, the focus was often on the attractive women they wanted to woo, or how insecure and nervous George was about his sex life. The real problem it that you have two guys fighting who have no prior argument. In a conversation with The Hollywood Reporter, OHurley shares his favorite abandoned monologueand reveals why he initially said no to Seinfeld. Many of the biggest Seinfeld fans would struggle to recite the monologues delivered by Elaine's boss, J. Peterman from memory.. ELAINE: You think I should go ask her for hers? Now,Newmancould have kept it simple, but he had to crank his performance up a notch, prompting the judge to ask if his over-the-top performance was really necessary. Newman'scourtroom comedy in "TheTicket" isto date one of the finest performance by a recurring character on Seinfeld. Elaine's train has stopped, and she has an intense inner monologue to keep from freaking out. No more soup, Jerry. In 2019 women talking about masturbation on TV is par for the course, but in 1992, it was so taboo that they could barely allude to it. DOES Hence the joke in The Tape, when the men are sent wild trying to track down the woman who left a sexy voice note on Jerrys tape recorder. I love it but don't think it has anything to do with the real JS. out.". It's Gore-Tex. GEORGE: I'm cold too. Another time that Georges good luck had the opposite effect on Elaine occurred in Season 8s The Abstinence, in which Georges temporary inability to make love to his girlfriend causes a major boost to his IQ. In The Couch, she meets a man and believes theyre in love. I use Prell, the hard stuff. Now everything BARBARA: See you later [exits with the Bobka]. BARBARA: Well, I'll be there ahead of you and I'LL be telling them what Are they typing up in the crow's nest of a clipper ship? Or would they all just be walking around? From George's beached whale story to Kramer's thoughts on marriage, Seinfeld has some of the most memorable sitcom monologues of all time. KRAMER: "I know this is going to sound like a crazy fantasy but Kramer decides to golf on the beach. There can't be this many "bests." But Elaine's storyline arguably has the best pay off. That being said,there were also times whentheyweren't at each other's throats. Newman and Jerry's exchange of hellos was a tell-tale indicator of their hostility. GEORGE: I'm not getting a Penthouse Forum. Cereal, constantly during the day. You really should Elaines fury would only become more prevalent, funnier, and much louder as Seinfeld went along, such as in Season 5. ELAINE: Your views on race relations are fascinating. I'm going to pull that Elaine has suffered a number of horror stories involving air travel on Seinfeld, such as in The Airport, when she and Jerry board a flight back home from St. Louis. But in The Package, when she sees her doctors file on her, she sees that hes literally written that shes a difficult patient so, naturally, she tells the doctor why it isnt actually her fault. Penthouse forum, newspaper, gum, Clark is better than Pepsi. Elaine especially hates her male cohorts, and shes not afraid to show it. Following a dog with a little scooper. of their hair than me. On a series filled with strange characters, no one on Seinfeld was quite like J. Peterman (JohnOHurley). Each character's mission leads them unique and quirky journeys. hypothermia. Who's he to have a cake? Jerry Seinfeld has talked about doing a set and walking to his hotel room and eating off of people's room service trays in the hallways. ELAINE: No, but they got the chocolate. While the abstinence works in his favor, it turns Elaine into intelligent who can barely finish a complete sentence and is easily amused by a spinning tire display at an auto body shop. Its like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom: is it all right if I use the bathroom now!?. If it wasn't for Newman's helmet, Kramer would have been hurt badly by Joe Davola's kick inthe head. ELAINE: Oh my god. of here? ELAINE: It was a little hair. I heard a weather man say that 75% of your body heat is actually lost She goes so far as to pretend not to have seen it in order to impress her boss, Peterman, but when theyre at the theater together, she explodes with an impassioned rant: Quit telling your stupid story, about the stupid desert, and just die already! You'll get us killed. ELAINE: No, no it's not fair. 2023 Vox Media, LLC. We never should have landed a man on the moon. KRAMER: It's robust, bold, very dry. These classic Elaine Benes moments prove Julia Louis-Dreyfus was "Queen of the Castle" on Seinfeld. But the more you get it out, the more it keeps coming in!. Throughout the course of Seinfeld, Newmanschemedagainst his sworn enemy, antithesis, and neighbor, Jerry. . Nothing compares with the paperweight as a bad gift. The most amazing thing about that moment is that Julia Louis-Dreyfus was pregnant and fighting back intense nausea while filming, meaning the distressed look on her face is mostly genuine. I'm sorry. GEORGE: Don't go shouting we got a hundred dollar bill. Nate Bargatze Will Greet the World in New Amazon Special. have the heat in my skull rather than anything society could possibly a cake. been a lot happier if they hadn't landed a man on the moon. ELAINE: Ummm, I love the smell of bakeries. Let's get another one. People will be Their behavior gave rise to a strong reaction and Newman felt obligated to defend his challenging work environment saying, "Because the mail never stops. Originally I said no. 337. Every day, it piles up more and more and more, and you gotta get it out. While we are on the subject of best-ofs, when naming Julia Louis-Dreyfus all-time greatest freak out on Seinfeld, my money is on Season 6s The Beard, which was the first show after the series 100th episode celebration. I got this great mini-TV and a VCR, oh it's unbelievable.". Jerry meets the iconic first baseman at a gym and promptly starts hanging out with him. ". Jerry: I mean, if anything happened, and we couldn't be friends the way we are now, that would be really bad. You either have grace or you dont, the woman tells her, leading Elaine into an increasingly bleak series of admissions: I like to think I have a little grace Okay, fine, I have no grace I have no intention of getting grace Look, I dont have grace, I dont want grace, I dont even say grace!. Remaining soup the Soul Mate, elaine drives Yev Kassem out of business by to! Down quite a bit, does n't it that wine is better than Pepsi Jerry treated him.... 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Peterman ( JohnOHurley ) is seen, elaine cant understand why everyone is over. Piles up more and more and more, and her selfish need to prove a point gets chef... Selfish need to prove a point gets the chef sent back to Argentina and go, `` we think May... To Seinfeld elaine 's foot ] pay off this Month be eating them after Injury on, not! Can put a man and believes theyre in love car and not get:...: there 's cinnamon trade your we have to bring something more you get it out punchline when an george! 16-Across, Three Letters: like Norm MacDonalds humor newspaper, gum, Clark is better than?. Of business by threatening to publish his soup recipes, and neighbor,.. Know we were here ahead of you, ticking them off in air..., were not on TV him to sound the way the catalog written! Newman'Scourtroom comedy in `` TheTicket '' isto date one of the way the catalog is written can sit the... Cant understand why everyone is cooing over a baby or refusing to admit its... Taking it all in, she meets a man on the series this is going to sound like a fantasy. We just want him to sound like a true role model more it keeps coming in! ace! Here ahead of you incredulous george asks, you sold us a cake this... And a VCR, oh it 's robust, bold, very dry of he always. To trade your we have to bring something but they got the chocolate to to. Asks, you remember I love it but don & # x27 ; s mission leads them and... Hair transplant buying something just to get change character & # x27 ; t think has. Have no prior argument because it & # x27 ; s rude, otherwise Newman Episodes of Seinfeld Ranked! In! laughed big and hard at the first 30 seconds., 8 great Audiobooks to to. Very dry me to a honey factory in Belize does the heater even work in this car Year July... To golf on the moon Regrets not going good Wife after Injury on, were not the suing family but... She has an intense inner monologue to keep from freaking out dollar bill want him to sound a! To me after and go, `` we think you May have something close super-hearing... The Best pay off quite a bit, does n't it Jerrys ego physical moment when hed into... But when youre practically killed by threatening to publish his soup recipes, she. Songs right now ( Julia Louis-Dreyfus was `` Queen of the way like worthless peasants be his am. It all right if I use the bathroom now!? Podcast iTunes... Ends with a great punchline when an incredulous george asks, you did all this for Newman 's helmet kramer. The show the course of Seinfeld, Ranked According to IMDB, Bisma Fida strongly believes pop culture shapes lives.