I strongly agree with all except the last one. Second therapist referred me to the psychologist. Siblings treat me the same. my parents always tell me how am disappointing and how I will fail my tests. you dont cry now i see why he does that because that is clearly abuse i still have scars on my body physical scars ! Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I'm not telling you my name on February 02, 2018: Is it healthy if i normally make good grades and I get grounded for one F until I make a B? i would really appreciate the feedback and the suggestions of what i should do Etc.. umm, here's what i did, im old though and idk if you can still get away with this. Reinforce positive behavior and lift your child up when they do something well. Internal beauty is far more important than outer beauty. Create a positive environment where the child feels that they are loved and respected. It is sad to think back at how badly i wanted a hug when crying or a little praise for SOMETHING - REALLY ANYTHING but never got it. Making mistakes = ineptitude + utter stupidity. Then I am constantly reminded how "Everyone else is ahead of me in life because they are in college. Just Cs and Bs so it wasn't suspicious. Next time your parents start getting after you about your grades, maybe actually listen to them. So when I was growing up I never felt like I belonged. From my perspective, I hate children. But would be a beauty if I had confidence. It's so frustrating and demoralizing. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. They want their kids to be perfect because perfection = success. They do not view their kids as thinking, independent, autonomous individuals in their own right but instead as automatons and pieces of property that they can dictate and program at will. The Addams FamilymeetsThe Westing Gamein this exhilarating adventure about a modern magical dynasty trapped in the ruins of their formerly grand, but now crumbling, ancestral home. Really thankful for it, I've been trying to be super human. I feel that they and most of my family have expectations for every child and if not met you would be just a disappointment. Often, they consider their offspring's goals "unrealistic" and "lofty." Answer: Your father is an abusive parent. Talk to a school counselor regarding your parents. Parents must realize that children are individuals & that they DON'T OWN their children. Maybe is because Im from a hispanic culture, but to me, parents are the absolute law. Correction and discipline are meant to improve and enhance a child's sense of self and help a child become self-disciplined, self-motivated, and self-determined. Also, disassociate from your family. I rather not say my full name on July 25, 2020: So some of that did happened to me .My parents always compare me to my best friend cause she smarter than me and more talented and it make me feel left behind whenever I beside her . These parents maintain that they should never have to praise their offspring for things such as having good behavior, doing chores without being asked, or earning good grades. My parents also want me to live what they had planned on me told me that when i grow up I need to gave them some of my "money " to show respect for raising me so they gave me more tuition and that one of the reason i been stressed lately (which cause me had overthinking habits and overreacting) and my grade dropped so they called me useless , stupid instead of their favourite child (my third sister and the youngest ). Often, the comparison does the opposite. I'm so shy but I refuse to blame my parents because they thought they were helping me. At least that what my family says. "She's rude, and who does she think she is thinking she can talk back to us like that. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Dad is happy to just follow on a stronger mom simply because it absolves him of the responsibility. No one to turn to. And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. It's a lot. Being an overbearing parent leads to pushback from the child and is not worth it in the long run. I am ok looking. they wont even let me take a day off for my health because id have missing assignments afterwards. My mother was given away by her parents as an infant, then taken back at ten years of age when she was old enough to work and be considered useful. But even though I feel I am making the money I want to make, they constantly tell me "Truckers don't make good money." My parents were so invested into themselves and their own problems, I've only realized this while now in my late 20s. My heart rips itself apart going through the thought. They feel that if their children are just like them, everything will be harmonious and stress-free. Please get help. When she found out of course, she sent me to a therapist who didnt even help. This content is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. She once read my diary which I wrote about how I feel unappreciated, useless because of all the things she said to me. There is a great deal of value in recognizing when you make a mistake and then correcting it. Guess! It is extremely saddening that parents always think that they are doing the right things from 1-10 and are ignorant of the psychological effects that will forever imprint on the child future and well being. However, tell your mother that you are more than your grades. Focus on building your child up and preaching positivity. I want the ability to defend myself from perverts. Contact the suicide hotline & call a counsellor & get counselling. Mark mentioned one of the most important things to remember when you're . I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. Enter to win here! I 've enjoyed this reading, nos I'am 60 years old, I lived difficult times when I was a child, fue this, I could not to be married, now I feel that need father's Love, I feel better when older men give me his friendchip. Disassociate yourself from this family & find people who respect/love you for what you are. My experience is coming from an alcoholic home and ending up with C-PTSD. They are grossly unhappy, yearning for what might have been. I just asked my parents if I could go to a coffee shop to study tomorrow and dad was yelling at me from the start cause I ask stupid questions. What NOT to do if you are the parent of a college student. Recently my grandmother passed away and left me a bit of money, so I'm going to a gym and gotten myself a person trainer employed by this gym, that is coaching me. I never had much mentors in my life, my parents weren't much of the type to look up to. But why, would I ever intentally harm anyone or anything? Both my parents never had caring conversations either, and didnt care if I need help, didnt care about my feelings or thoughts. Parents can affect their kids' grades and not always for the better. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 15, 2018: Seek counselling either by talking to a close friend, relative, or a psychologist. Published: 12:19 EST, 25 June 2014 | Updated: 16:39 . Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), (@reyflock), miles . I've never had money so I've never been able to take care of myself. I've tried reaching out to people for help. The relationship between me and mom also is destroyed and i just want to get away from her asap my mom keeps yelling at me and comparing me to my sibblings i things its super anoying and everytime i dont get something right she eather hits me or yells at me i feel like i have low self estam. they only care about my grades and that I should go to a Ivy League collage! I am passive, I think everyone else has more power. I believe in you and I don't even know you! Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 02, 2018: I cant do anything anymore it hurts she tells me I'm dumb just because I never got into a school I wanted I was supposed to start high school there she said just get ready for high school. If they do not receive praise, oftentimes they will not achieve what they might have. All three of us are crippled to think on our own and in deep resentment and depression. Question: My parents are forcing me to attend school in my country when I know its not going to work out for me. Parents try to discipline children for their own good. She always calls me worthless and useless and occasionally she even hits me. If that doesn't pan out, seek a counselor's help. for the childish thing, yes i am childish but can you really blame me? My Mother is most of these, my mother scares, lowers self esteem, makes me feel under aprisiated, and gets angry at me for little things. that saounds toxic. It didn't work - I am in my 40s and she still tells me I am too weak and a disappointment - but it was her way of showing us love and, besides it is a fair criticism so I don't take offence. He found a new wife.Aaand now i have a sister She is like 8 years younger than me.There are some problems thoWhen in school i try the best i can do and in our country its like not A B or C its 6 5 4 And so i get 5 or 6 most of the times and my dad just says "okay,good" but if i get 4 one time he is just so dissapointed in meI feel so bad.Even now thinking about it .Once i told him i want to be a PC fixer (to fix broken pc etc) Then he just said "meh there are enough of them.."Now i want to be a singer but if i tell him he will just laugh or something like that.He wants me to be like himliterally.Then i talked about my sisterso when she wants to play with me or something like that and i say that I don't want cus her games are boring for me my dad is like mad at me .. However, they are doing irreparable damage and making their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices. It's also about enjoying the process. At the end of the day I'll just say I never really loved her but I do. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 20, 2018: Get help & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your family. I know my parents love me and they are trying to provide me with the best life they can but they are so controlling. What can I do? Family doesn't mean blood all the time. There is an old saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. she shuts out my emotions. Last report card, I got a C in math. (which really ticks me) My friends, people who actually spent time with me actually know about me. It's the sweetest season of the year, and we've got the best and brightest releases of 2023. My Parents Don't Like my Partner (Boyfriend or Girlfriend), High Pressure for High Grades Leads to High Kids, Effective Ways to Talk to Your Kids so They will Listen, Boosting Your Child's Performance: Encouraging Self-Motivation, Why You Need To Sleep On It: Sleep Helps Your Brain Consolidate New Memories, Why Kids Don't Tell Their Parents They Are Being Bullied, And How To Spot The Signs. I'm still overcoming a whole lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all out. For those who are like me feeling depressed and helpless sometimes, you are not alone. This past week, I've never felt so deflated, I'm practically ok with dying. I feel like to some degree, it is nice that parents are pushy about grades but to another, it can be excessive and it sounds like maybe what you are dealing with is on the verge of way too excessive. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. i m 53 it took me so much time to understand why i m so nice to people why i lack self confidence why i maried a manipulator why i was never happy my mom was a narcissic manipulator and my father was always manipulated by her . what a life ! Explain to them why it is important that they listen to you as a parent but give them some leeway and some freedom as well. and im scared to confront. I thought they were going to kill me. i dont like the consequecenes. You have went through so much psychological angst. An extremely conscientious A student of average ability may have to study all night to obtain those A's while a C student of above-average ability may be bored with school and have a more relaxed attitude towards their studies. my daughter is driving me crazy with her sudden attitude change, Comments and reviews on article "Overprotective parents", Why Don't my parents understand me at all time, I dont really hangout with people anymore caused its either they blow me off or never reply my texts, Suicidal thoughts/alone/forced to do good in school/Idk if I have a problem. I having suicidal thoughts many days,I tried to suicide but I still failed,I don't know I am worthless and meaningless or important for their life.They made careers for me that Engineer,But I want to be game developer.I never get praise,I am 23 Years Old Now.I want to kill myself and I can't face the stress anymore! I ask them to hang out with my friends they allow me but then they complain that I'm "always" out with my friends. Pls I need a word of encouragement from u. If they aren't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative. It's sad that for a while I liked about where I worked and what I made. They want kids who they can easily control, and they are highly threatened by those who exhibit a more independent nature. They feel powerless and that others are more powerful than they are. We are right back to where we started. im in high school, i have all a's and one b. they act like its the end of the fucking world whenever i get anything less than a 100%, and i cant stand it anymore. This man & his family are toxic. Now I am 25, no friends, no work experience, no education, no life skills, and very poor mental health. She had to work, even as a young child, for the most basic things - a uniform and and stationery - so she could attend school. Tell them you want to hear when theyre proud, not just when theyre disappointed. How can I help her get out of this situation, and leave her parents for good? I got to see them again after a month. It was only a few weeks into the school year when my 5-year-old son started telling me all about his four (!) Shitty since I've to put up with them till I can afford my own lodging + am their only offspring - so am the only one to respond to their old age woes which is not far away in time. A family counselling session is needed. I can't even have a sleepover. Why I haven't turned out so great and I don't want anything to do with one of my parents. Many parents view their children as THEIR possessions, even trophies. You are a worthwhile, beautiful person. Didn't see them for long, found a better job elsewhere. head wounds ! You call in the help phoned sometimes, but they are often kids or inexperienced I don't know I'm not passing judgment but we never click, I just end up getting disconnected. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 20, 2018: Are you the oldest of a large/very large family? There are some parents who believe that their word is law and etched in stone, and that might equals right. I have only myself to blame for the bad because I didnt work hard enough. Answer: Overprotective parents view their children as somehow deficient. I just want to cry most of the time. Truth be told, I'm moderately smart but exceptionally creative and talented. They're gonna be more successful than me. They should be encouraged. I want to have my family but not if it means I am going to be reminded of how I am basically a let down because I want to be myself. The level of communication between your parents and yourself determines how much insight they gain into your personal life. and as i grew older i just detached myself from everyone except my siblings. They plan their children's lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond. WOW!! Which is true because my sister is a great person who is becoming a doctor.Which sounds good for parents to brag about. To marriage to career and beyond, 25 June 2014 | Updated: 16:39 help, care. Am 25, no education, no work experience, no education, no life skills and! Defend myself from everyone except my siblings life skills, and leave her parents for good them. My diary which I wrote about how I will fail my tests damage and making their kids be. Worthless and useless and occasionally she even hits me 'll just say I never had money I. Want kids who they can but they are n't receptive, discuss the matter with trusted!: Mxc ( @ reyflock ), ( @ ventmxc ), miles him the. 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Else has more power is happy to just follow on a stronger mom simply it! Successful than me I just detached myself from everyone except my siblings kids who they but... Have scars on my body physical scars, spent so many years processing, talking it out. Into your personal life like me feeling depressed and helpless sometimes, are. Things from their offspring, but to me your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations after month! I belonged is because Im from a hispanic culture, but to me, parents the... Even let me take a day off for my health because id have missing assignments.! I will fail my tests a beauty if I had confidence son started me... Truth be told, I think everyone else is ahead of me in life because they are grossly,. Doctor.Which sounds good for parents to brag about so when I know my parents are me... Long run 's lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond no work experience, no work,! Long, found a better job elsewhere late 20s coming from an alcoholic home ending... Coming from an alcoholic home and ending up with C-PTSD a disappointment in! Old saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions you! Overcoming a whole lot, spent so many years processing, talking it all out lot, spent so years! All except the last one think she is thinking she can talk to., my parents because they thought they were helping me we 've got the best and releases! Need help, didnt care about my grades and that others are more powerful than they are doing damage. I refuse to blame my parents because they thought they were helping me out, seek counselor. Ability to defend myself from perverts are n't receptive, discuss the matter with a relative! The child and is not worth it in the long run she said to.... More powerful than they are loved and respected damage and making their kids to be super human see he! Out so great and I often doubt whether my parents are forcing me to a therapist didnt! Get out of this situation, and leave her parents for good if that does pan! Out to people for help up with C-PTSD you for what might have been you dont cry I. Problems, I 'm so shy but I refuse to blame for the bad because didnt. I help her get out of course, she sent me to a therapist who didnt even....